Today, I lay on my bed thinking about how this week, this coming week, on the events that will take place and the stretching that I’ll have to do.
For a moment I see how gracefully I will handle everything, how effective and efficient that I’ll be and how I’ll manage myself. With nobody but me. Taking care of everything and surviving the storm, victoriously.
Adulting as it’s meant to be.
Back to school, holding the family fort and running the business as though nobody left. I can do it, I know I can work this but will it be okay. Will I really run it, will she be okay? Will she survive this? She must survive this. She will survive this, I have hope! I have faith! Whom am I thinking of? Mother.
It’s been a two week thing and she’s worried and I need to be the strength, her strength, a reminder that she’s going to be okay through her surgery it will be successful and she will get well and things will get back to how they were before.
Should I be guilty that I can’t cry or I have the strength to go through this or that I have faith that everything will be ok. I’ll take care of everything through her healing process and through the surgery.
It’s like walking towards a sloppy hill and being so sure that you have the strength to climb it and move to the next one. I hope through this she’ll be able to get better.
I know I am strong enough. You gave me strength all my life mother, it’s my time to pay it forward and I draw more strength from God. I trust in Him. He is with us all.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
The Journey 